I'm Not Killing Time, Time is Killing Me

Eminent Peasant
Neoteric Classicist
Authentic Hypocrite
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Earnest Satirist
Capricious Constant
Good Dentist, too.


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Reblogged from david-tennant-is-very-sexy

bennidick:

my-timey-wimey:

david-tennant-is-very-sexy:

Has anyone ever sat down and watched this video with the script in front of you so you could act like your Sally Sparrow and it will look like you are having a conversation with The Doctor??? or is it just me?

S- The doctor.
L- Who’s the doctor?
S- He’s the doctor.
D- [0:13] Yep that’s me.
S- ‘Kay that was scary.
L- No, it sounds like he’s replying but he always says that.
D-[0:19] Yes I do.
L-And that.
D- [0:21] Yep and this!
S- He can hear us! Oh my god you can really hear us!
L- Of course he can’t hear us! Look. I got a transcript, see? Everything he says. “Yep that’s me, yes I do, yep and this, next this, are you gonna read out the whole thing?
D- [0:37]Are you gonna read out the whole thing? (Together)
L- Sorry.
S- Who are you?
D- [0:41] I’m a time traveler, or I was, I’m stuck in 1969.
M- We’re stuck! All of space and time he promised me, now I got a job in a shop, I have to support him!
D-Martha!
M- Sorry.
S- I’ve seen this bit before.
D- [0:55] Quite possibly.
S- 1969, that’s where you’re talking from?
D- [0:59] ‘Fraid so.
S- But you’re replying to me! You cant know what I’m gonna say 40 years before I say it!
D- [1:05] 38.
L- I’m getting this down, I’m writing in your bits.
S-How! How is this possible? Tell me.
L- Not so fast!
D-[1:13] People don’t understand time its not what you think it is.
S- Then what is it?
D- [1:19] Complicated.
S- Tell me.
D- [1:22] Very complicated
S- I’m clever and I’m listening and don’t patronize me because people have died and I’m not happy, tell me!
D- [1:28] People assume that time is a straight progression of cause to effect but actually from a non-linear non-subjected viewpoint it’s more like a ball of wibbly-wobbly timey whimey. …stuff.
S- Yeah I’ve seen this bit before. You said that sentence got away from you.
D- [1:43] It got away from me, yeah.
S- Next you’re gonna say is “Well I can hear you.”
D- [1:48] Well I can hear you.
S- This is impossible!
L- No its brilliant!
D- [1:52] Well not hear you exactly but I know everything you’re gonna say.
L- Always gave me the shivers that bit.
S- How can you know what I’m gonna say?
D-[2:00] Look to your left.
L- What does he mean by “look to your left”? I’ve written tons about that on the forum. I think it’s a political statement!
S- He means you! What are you doing?
L- I’m writing in your bits, that way I gotta a complete transcript! What till this hits the net! This will explode the Egg Forums!
D-[2:19] I’ve got a copy of the finished transcript its on my autocue.
S- How can you have a copy of the finished transcript? It’s still being written!
D- [2:25] I told you I’m a time traveler I got it in the future.
S- Ok let me get my head around this. You’re reading aloud from a transcript of a conversion you’re still having?
D- [2:22] Wibbly wobbly timey whimey.
S- Never mind that, you can do short hand?
L- So?
D- [2:41] What matters is we can communicate, we’ve got big problems now. They have taken the blue box haven’t they? The angels have the phone box?
L- “The angels have the phone box” that’s my favorite. I’ve got that on a t-shirt.
S- What do you mean angels? You mean those statues things?
D- [2:55] Creature from another world.
S- But they’re just statues!
D- [2:59] Only when you see them.
S- What does that mean?
D- [3:02] The lonely assassins they used to be called. No one quite knows where they came from but they’re as old as the universe or very nearly and they have survived this long because they have the most perfect defense system ever evolved. They are quantum locked. They don’t exist when they’re being observed. The moment they are seen by any other living creature they freeze into rock. No choice, it’s a fact of their biology. In the sight of any living thing they literally turn to stone, and you cant kill a stone. ‘Course, a stone cant kill you either but then you turn your head away, then you blink and oh yes it can.
S- Dont take your eyes off that.
D- [3:37] That’s why they cover their eyes. They’re not weeping, they cant risk looking at each other. They’re greatest asset is they’re greatest curse. They can never be seen. Loneliest creatures in the universe. And I’m sorry, I’m very, very sorry its up to you now.
S- What am I supposed to do?
D- [3:56] The blue box, that’s my time machine. There’s a world of time energy in there they could feast on forever but the damage they could do could switch off the sun. You have got to send it back to me.
S- How? …HOW?!
D- [4:10] And that’s it I’m afraid, there’s no more from you on the transcript, that’s the last I’ve got. I don’t know what stopped you talking but I can guess. They’re coming. The angels are coming for you but listen; your life could depend on this. Don’t blink, don’t even blink! Blink and you’re dead. They’re fast, faster than you can believe. Don’t turn your back, don’t look away, and don’t blink! Good Luck.

that was the best thing that has happened to me all year.

(via twofingerswhiskey)

Reblogged from ritchandspace

crystalsoulslayer:

jellybabiesandfishcustard:

ritchandspace:

Imagine Jenny making out with a Pertwee-era Silurian

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(via twofingerswhiskey)

Reblogged from little-cyes-2

Over the years we’ve had a variety of odd pairs

nothenks:

little-cyes-2:

We have a frog and a pig

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a rabbit and a promiscuously drawn woman

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a donkey and a dragon

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a shape shifting dog and a rainbow unicorn

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these two

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and a warthog with a meerkat who raise a lion cub

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But no one will ever accept the Bee Movie

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I thought this was gonna be about gay couples but gee was I mistaken

You mean: but BEE were you mistaken HAHAHAAHAHAHAHSHDASBAKFSBVGFDGFJSHDILLUMINATIFGHBDFDNJBCSFVDVSATANXCBNCFGVHJUTYTDFDSHGDGSFDFFSSFTBILLYCRYSTALGUHY65RE4WARFBGJUH

(via ladydogbarf)

Reblogged from aphindia

marshaloves1d:

thorinmyside:

hiphopfightssnacks:

omfg i hate my dad’s computer he has a fucking profanity filter i feel like i’m on goddamn neopets or something

LOOK AT THIS SHIT OH MY FUCKING GOD

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Please ask your dad where he got the profanity filter at. I am going to do this to everyone’s computer. PLEASE TELL ME

(Source: aphindia, via twofingerswhiskey)

Reblogged from iammyurl

bunnyfood:

This guy.

(Source: iammyurl, via twofingerswhiskey)

Reblogged from 9fail

(Source: 9fail, via twofingerswhiskey)

Reblogged from bandsareprettyrad

bandsareprettyrad:

If you ever feel bad just remeber there is a gif of me floating around tumblr of when I was 8 and I sat on the escalator and knocked down a table of jewelry at macys

(via twofingerswhiskey)

Reblogged from marrowack
Reblogged from gravedust

manda:

the-jackals:

gravedust:

I hope people have seen this. I dont even know its origin or anything or hell what to really tag it as but I saw it on facebook via a cosplayer page. Its definitely worth the watch

What the ungodly fuck

why was this so funny to me omg

a masterpiece

(via twofingerswhiskey)

Reblogged from katbeee
To me, feminism is also about liberating men from the stereotypes that they have to be the breadwinners, that they have to be a certain way, and they can’t explore their feminine sides. That’s crippling men. That’s crippling how fully men can experience their emotional lives and everything. They have to bond with each other by putting women down? That’s sad. What about having real friendships? Wouldn’t that be great?

Kathleen Hanna

I want this on a t-shirt and a thousand business cards to hand out to people on the street. Spot on, but would expect nothing less of Hanna.

(via katbeee)

(via notenuf)

Reblogged from gerardsthumblr

gerardsthumblr:

The akinator game needs to slow the fuck down

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(via porraryanross)

Reblogged from buzzfeed

tyleroakley:

THESE ARE ALL FLAWFREE

(Source: buzzfeed, via daftpunk-x)

Reblogged from waltdisneysdaily

England doesn’t drink iced tea…. Sharpay you lying bitch.

(Source: waltdisneysdaily, via stileshelbig)

Reblogged from gotolargo

callmeoutis:

purlycubes:

senior quotes class of 1957

high schoolers have literally not changed at all

(Source: gotolargo, via tricycl)

Reblogged from arfudnacruinne