I'm Not Killing Time, Time is Killing Me

Eminent Peasant
Neoteric Classicist
Authentic Hypocrite
Prize-Winning Loser
Earnest Satirist
Capricious Constant
Good Dentist, too.


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Reblogged from jturn
jturn:

flamboyant-dog:

jturn:

who the fuck funded this study you can find this out by spending 5 minutes in a sauna

YOU SPEND 5 MINUTES IN THE SAUNA WITH A FUCKING BEAR???

hun

jturn:

flamboyant-dog:

jturn:

who the fuck funded this study you can find this out by spending 5 minutes in a sauna

YOU SPEND 5 MINUTES IN THE SAUNA WITH A FUCKING BEAR???

hun

(via notenuf)

Reblogged from flewor

floweranger:

do you ever see your face from a different angle and have a mental breakdown

(Source: flewor, via hungryhellhound)

Reblogged from breevandetramp
majorobigtime:

dragondicks:

hiccupartist:

who is she

how did they manage to photograph this ghost

majorobigtime:

dragondicks:

hiccupartist:

who is she

how did they manage to photograph this ghost

(Source: breevandetramp, via twofingerswhiskey)

Reblogged from im-leaving-goodbye-deactivated2

queefdollaz:

brainfried:

cum on the back of my jeans?

sure why not

we’re all just having a great time

James 4:7-8 (NIV)
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

(via twofingerswhiskey)

Reblogged from heliolisk
Reblogged from weedjoke420-deactivated20140603

a-pedophile-potato:

weedjoke420:

one time in 7th grade i was having unbearable intestinal pain like i could not move at all it hurt so bad so i went to the nurse and she sent me home and the second i got home i farted for legitimately 45 seconds and all of the pain disappeared

A deeply touching story

(via twofingerswhiskey)

Reblogged from
"What if we all sit and make Ringo stand for once, haha fucker"

"What if we all sit and make Ringo stand for once, haha fucker"

(Source: , via thebeatlesordie)

Reblogged from vulgarswami-deactivated20140719

bearsnbeetsnbattlestargalactica:

This was seriously the best prank

(via daftpunk-x)

Reblogged from shemolaxing
Reblogged from tacoposey

jennaanne01:

soundlyawake:

bonquayyy:

notyetfamouslyfamous:

caprediem:

iihateurls:

the-absolute-best-posts:

agentbartowski:

STILL ONE OF THE BEST VIDEOS TO EVER EXIST

SEND HELP

oh my jesus.

oh my god this is perf. I’m crying okay.

bringing this back.

literally me

Nick your caption XD

(Source: tacoposey)

Reblogged from gifak-net
i-clash-with-everything:

You can see the exact moment where it goes
"I HAVE MADE A HORRIFIC MISTAKE. FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK F-"
And then it falls in.

i-clash-with-everything:

You can see the exact moment where it goes

"I HAVE MADE A HORRIFIC MISTAKE. FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK F-"

And then it falls in.

(Source: gifak-net, via daftpunk-x)

Reblogged from danyytargaryen

classymorelikekhaleesi:

thegirlwiththenotebooks:

danyytargaryen:

harry and ginny having triplet boys and naming them james, sirius, and remus respectively

and mcgonagall’s reaction when they’re at hogwarts like

no

no not again

I love how this just assumes that Minerva lives for three generations of Potters

if dumbledore can live for 115 years, so can she

(via daftpunk-x)

Reblogged from fartgallery

fartgallery:

readingaroundthemovies:

fartgallery:

i need to date a girl with the initials AG so we can carve SW+AG on benches

Those r my mums initials…,

say hello to your new dad. i see that your tumblr blog contains some vulgar language. you’re grounded

(via twofingerswhiskey)

Reblogged from yongmuney

Reblogged from sanjatii

scary-monsters-and-davesprite:

HE CAN HAVE THE FUCKING MONEY JESUS

(Source: sanjatii, via twofingerswhiskey)